Everyday Epiphany, Gardening, humor, Outdoors

The Work Workout Or How I’ll Make A Million Smackaroos!

My fortune is made (or will be made) upon the launch of my new “Work Workout” program! Infomercials, “Shark Tank” appearances, followed by franchises will have me rolling in the green like Scrooge McDuck!

Prior attempts at making the “A-list” of millionaires fell short. The squirrel circus invention (See post “Why Didn’t the Chicken Cross the Road?”), contest entering (See post “How Not To Win $500,000 For Creating A New Flavored Oreo”), and straight out gambling (See post “Hedging Bets”.) were not the moneymakers I envisioned. Honestly, they were moneylosers.

This time it’s different!

Light Bulb Time

Mid workout at Health Bridge, inspiration struck! On my eleventh push up (my goal is twenty-five) I paused (because there’s NO way I’m pushing up twenty-five times without pausing) and looked around at exercisers hefting weights, whipping ropes, climbing StairMasters, pedaling bikes, and stepping lively on the treadmills. All of these activities that burn calories and build muscles accomplish ONLY that. What if calories are burned and muscles are built AND real work is completed. All of the aforementioned activities mimic work. If I could put a spin on it I’m golden.

The Spin

I matched the gym exercises to real work.

Lifting dumbbells is similar to carrying wood in for the fireplace. Exercisers adjust the repetitions and level of weight. The amount of logs and number of trips to the log pile can also be adjusted. Then celebrate your stamina with a roaring fire!

Swinging ropes work out your arms. So does swinging a hose around the yard. Often times my hose catches on the flagstone path. To free it, I swing the hose up and down. Same action as the gym ropes. However, I’ve accomplished watering my garden. Stop and smell the roses!

StairMaster takes you nowhere. You’re in the same spot. For me stair climbing takes me to my laundry room. Adjust the speed of ascent and the amount of laundry carried and you’ll have burned calories and washed clothes. One stone, two birds!

The stationary bike is, well, stationary. Take an unstationary to the grocery store and you will have put in your miles AND filled your basket with the makings for dinner!

Walking the treadmill is worse than walking the track. At least on the track you circle the gym. Ditch both and walk to the library to return those CD’s you borrowed. No more late dues!

The Moneymaking Plan

Two levels to making the moolah!

Subscriptions, Level One:

Subscribers to the Work Workout program complete a survey about their weekly chores. Then using my yet to be developed and patented “Work To Workout Conversion Software” I’ll input the information and create a “Personalized Work Workout” program. If I can get Tim Cook onboard, it can be synchronized with the Apple Watch. If Tim hasn’t the foresight that I do, perhaps Fitbit’s co-creator and president, James Park, would be interested.

Contracts, Level Two:

If subscribers desire more “Work Workout” sessions than their homes require for tidying, I’d contract with neighboring homeowners to allow the subscribers to “workout” in their homes. And here’s the genius of this plan, subscribers would be paying me for the Work Workout subscription AND contractors would ALSO be paying me to have their home cleaned!

So, do I have any “Work Workout” subscribers in the audience?















7 thoughts on “The Work Workout Or How I’ll Make A Million Smackaroos!”

  1. Haha! I’ve always thought it was ironic that people who buy gym memberships often hire housekeepers and landscapers to take care of the heavy lifting at home. I count all my homemaking efforts as part of my exercise program. Keep moving and get something done, and save money? What is there not to like about that? But for those who pay money for everything, I believe you new business will fly!


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