humor, Politics

What I Learned About Life from the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony

While the Olympians gather valuable life lessons during their experiences at the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang, I learned a few lessons myself during the Opening Ceremony on Friday.

 Koreans and Rockettes

According to Katie Couric’s commentary during the Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony at the Pyeongchang Stadium, the Korean culture values the group over individuals. While Katie educated me about Korean principles, in the background a bazillion dancers dressed in ruby dresses formed intricate patterns in rhythm to an equal number of drummers outfitted in white.

Post 47 June 2001 Radio City Music Hall RockettesI flashbacked to a Radio City Music Hall show and backstage tour. The Rockettes subscribe to a similar philosophy. The high kicking line outshines individual dancers. Although the Rockettes and Koreans share similar beliefs, the average Korean woman would not be hired as a Rockette.

It’s not about race discrimination, but height discrimination. The average height of a Korean woman is 5’4”. The required height of a Rockette is 5’6” – 5’10½”.

I learned that at 5’3½” I wouldn’t make it as a Rockette nor am I qualified to become an average Korean woman.

 Togo Is Almost A Verb Phrase

Post 47 Togo FlagTogo is an African country squeezed between Ghana and Benin. If a space is squeezed between the “o” and “g” the country’s name forms the verb phrase “to go” as in the sentence “I never want to go to Togo!”

My conclusion followed a stream of consciousness that flowed something like this while I ate pizza and drank Dos Equis Amber in front of the TV Friday night.

Katie Couric Commentating: According to tradition the Greek athletes parade in first, the host country last, and all others are in alphabetical order.

Me Thinking: So are we going by America, which would put us in front, or United States, which would put us in back?

Katie: It’s alphabetical according to the Korean alphabet.

Me: (After Ghana parades in second) It looks like the Korean’s don’t start with “A”.

Katie: The United States will be among the countries that begin with “M”.

Me: “M”? How the heck did we get filed with the “M’s”?

Katie: Migug migug is the Korean word for United States.

Me: Ok, that makes sense especially if you’re Korean. Country names are interesting.

Katie: Blah, blah, blah.

Me: Togo? Where the heck is Togo? I wonder if it’s pronounced to go? I wonder if any other country’s name is a phrase. I’ll research that!

Findings about Togo: Well-armed criminals run an elephant and rhino poaching ring and the government has been criticized for its human rights record. Faure Gnassingbe is president but hundreds died challenging his victory.

Therefore, I decided that I do not want to go to Togo!

Signature Style Caution

Pita Taufatofua represented Tonga at the 2016 Summer Olympics in tae kwon do. A determined Pita qualified for the 2018 Winter Olympics in cross-country skiing. He wore a Tongan mat and oiled torso at both Olympic Opening Ceremonies. Considering the 50-degree difference between Rio in August and Pyeongchang in February his signature style, although well received, had to give him pause.

Hence, I will never adopt stilettoes as a signature style. Four-inch heels give me pause no matter what the temperature.

Carry Snacks

Post 47 Snacks images (1)I’m not sure who was in charge of seating at the Olympics, but seating Kim Yo Jong behind Michael Pence was like seating bickering relatives at the same table during a wedding reception. If the hope was that Mike and Kim would have an exchange like I’ll tell Donald to dial it back if you tell your brother to back off, it didn’t happen. Maybe if Mike shared Chex Mix with Kim during the show or Kim passed Milk Duds to the VP it may have broken the ice. (Although I didn’t see any vendors in the stands, I’m guessing there were snacks available like at the movies.)

Consequently when anticipating uncomfortable encounters I will carry Snickers to share.

Augmented Reality

An aerial shot of Pyeongchang Stadium displayed a crown of lights. While I contemplated the engineering feat, Katie cleared it up.

Katie: Viewers in the stadium don’t see the lights that TV viewers see. It’s “augmented reality”.

A light bulb flicked on over my head.

I’m not wearing Spanx.

I’m not dying my hair.

I’m AUGMENTING REALITY!

In the Life Lessons Competition, Augmented Reality takes the gold!

2 thoughts on “What I Learned About Life from the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony”

  1. These amazingly healthy over achievers are so unlike most of us, it is almost impossible to relate. I feel badly that they all can’t win a medal.

    Like

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