humor, Outdoors

Winter Living Events

While Mikaela Shiffrin, Arnd Peiffer, and the duo Lawes and Morris competed in Winter Olympic Events like the Giant Slalom, Biathlon, and Curling in Pyeongchang, Mike (my Significant Other) and I participated in Winter Living Events in Illinois. Both Winter Events (Olympic and Living) required skill!

Pothole Slalom

USA ‘s Mikaela Shiffrin gold medal performance during the Giant Slalom impressed. She zigzagged 50 gates completing the course with skill and grace.

Driving on pothole-riddled roads required similar zigzagging. I completed the course to Jewel and back with skill, grace, and a trunkful of groceries.

Post 48 Pot Hole 1Not to take away from Mikaela’s accomplishment, but I’m pretty sure that the Olympic Committee cleared the slope of cars before Mikaela headed downhill. Oncoming traffic complicated my course as I swerved to avoid the crumbling asphalt.

 

Snow Biathlon

I’m sure fans of the Biathlon, an odd combo of cross country skiing and shooting, cheered Germany’s Arnd Peiffer as he delivered a perfect performance in the 10 K sprint.

Post 48 SnowshovelClearing the driveway of eight inches of snow coupled with dispersing an emerging ice dam on the roof shingles was the Midwest version of a Biathlon. (This was Mike’s event. I remained inside, worriedly peeking out the window while reviewing CPR instructions online.)

I don’t mean to detract from Arnd’s achievement, but I’d guess that all of his equipment worked properly – no broken ski bindings or jammed rifles. Mike completed the Snow Biathlon using a snow blower with two flat tires that wouldn’t hold air. (Look for an upcoming post regarding procrastination.)

Car Crud Contortion

Excitement filled the stadium as Team Canada’s Curling Duo, Lawes and Morris, scored big in the mixed doubles event.

Post 48 Car Crud 2

I’m filled with excitement when I successfully enter and exit my crud covered Acura without wiping a swath of the road scum off the door and onto my black coat.

Not to diminish Lawes and Moriss’ feat, but Curling Form to throw the stone was simplistic compared to Car Crud Form. The Thrower merely lunges and slides after the stone. A skip and pair of sweepers coached and assisted. The Car Crud Contortionist, without direction or aid, must perform a series of complex maneuvers to enter and exit a vehicle to avoid grime.

Shiffrin, Peiffer, Lawes, and Moris took home the gold.

I took home the groceries thanks to expert driving and a cleared driveway.

And I did it while keeping my black winter jacket clean!

What Winter Living Events have you medaled?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Winter Living Events”

  1. Winter Olympics in Texas include raking debris from ditches;walking the dog without sweating;chasing down contractors who are MIA.

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