The $5 Movie Ticket, Or So They Say

Reclining seats and 3D effects and bars in the theater lobby inflate a movie date night to the point where a home equity loan is required (which by the way wouldn’t be tax deductible in 2018).

I can do without these accouterments. The reclining seats induce a doze causing me to miss critical plot points of the story. The 3D effects evoke flinches, but after a few scenes the novelty wears off.

The bar in the lobby . . . I take that one back. Drinking a cold 321 Wheat beer to kill 20 minutes before a show’s start is the way to go. A bar in the lobby is an accouterment keeper.

Somewhere around Seth Meyer’s “Good Evening, ladies and gentleman who are left” quip and Oprah’s I’m-testing-the-water-for-a-presidential-bid speech at the Golden Globes, I caught the itch to see a movie.

Not a Netflick or HBO or Redbox movie, but one that required a higher standard dress code than pajamas- an actual theater with current films.

$5 Tuesday tickets had been advertised at one of the local theaters so I Googled “Theaters near me.” Four answered the digital beckoning which was one more than I expected. La Ilusion Carpintos Bl trailed Regal Crown, AMC, and Classic Cinema.

La Ilusion appeared to be a theater located in the garage of a residence in a subdivision. (Although curious I didn’t explore this option. It has trappings of a blog post of its own.)

Determining the price of a theater ticket is more complicated than it should be. I could have driven to each theater and interviewed the ticket seller in less time than I spent online figuring it out. Since I can’t do anything simply I created a chart and considered the mileage so I could calculate the cost of gas. (There must be therapy for those of us that have this type of affliction.)

Movie ticket prices are more volatile than BitCoin. This is what I figured out. I’m sure there are disclaimers.

Deciding upon AMC, I logged onto the website to purchase $5 tickets for Tuesday night. The strings attached to this bargain price tangled with each line of fine print.

I needed a free AMC Reward card. This involved downloading an app and completing forms during which popups asked if I wanted an upgraded reward card for $15. (No, thank you.)

With my new FREE card, I proceeded to purchase two tickets for “The Shape of Water.” (An aside here, there are so many layers to this film. It should come with CliffsNotes.) All went well until the checkout screen didn’t bottom line out at $10, but demanded full price.

The fine print stated that $5 bargain tickets must be purchased at the box office- no reserved seats. At this point I was in an “in for a penny, in for a pound” state of mind.

After arriving in ample time to beat the crowd (which there wasn’t) and purchasing $5 tickets (which they weren’t) Mike ordered two beers at the lobby bar. Studying the $5.89 ticket price on the receipt I asked the bartender who radioed the manager about why the advertised ticket price of $5 wasn’t honored. He claimed tax, which it wasn’t. Then said he didn’t know. It must be in the fine print. Since the Tuesday night manager looked like a sophomore in high school, I let it go.

Next Tuesday I’ll attempt a bargain movie experience at Classic Cinema’s even though they don’t have a bar.