Protests And Riots About A Nut And Nutella

The Trumpster attended the Word Economic Forum in Devos, Switzerland on Thursday, which didn’t please all the Swiss.

Campax, Swiss activists for a green economy, hung a “Trump Not Welcome” banner on a mountainside near Sargans, which isn’t by Devos. They thought Donald might see it when he flew over. That’s a big “might.” He was probably hunched over Tweeting instead of looking out the window.

Campax criticized the Donald because they believe he stands for “racism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, sexism, hostility towards women, warfare, denial of climate change, attacks on human rights and a policy that deepens poverty and inequality.”

Tell me something I don’t know, Campax!

A thousand demonstrators marched through Zurich chanting “Trump not welcome” and “Dump the Trump.”

The Swiss were definitely not “being switzerland” last week.

Trump is 25% of the way through his ride, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the next president can undo the harm this nut has done.

Thanks for the support, Switzerland!

 

While the Swiss tended to Trump, the French had problems of their own- cheap Nutella.

For some reason the Intermaché chain of grocery stores discounted a million 950-gram pots of the chocolate hazelnut spread by 70%. I’m not sure about the whole metric thing, but 950 sounds like a load especially when it’s discounted. It must have been a bargain because riots broke out in several stores on sale day.

I watched a video of the French Nutella riots. French riots are more sophisticated than American riots for two reasons. First, they take place in France. Second, the rioters are yelling in French.

Anything spoken in French sounds cooler. Think of escargot. It sounds cool, but it’s snails.

One hundred sixty countries consume eight hundred million pounds of Nutella every year. (I know it’s true because I read it on the Internet.)

I’ve never eaten Nutella and since shoppers weren’t rioting at the Crystal Lake Jewel I decided to purchase a jar and figure out why one hundred sixty countries favor it.

The Nutella jar label suggested a smear of the hazelnut spread on wheat toast topped with bananas. I went with it.

While the multigrain bread toasted I examined the label.

 

Sugar ranked first in the ingredients list followed by palm oil – definitely not a health food.

I didn’t agree with their “Nutella hazelnut spread is a happy start to your day” slogan. A
happy start to my day involves a Bloody Mary.

 

 

The bread popped up, I sliced bananas, smeared Nutella and assembled.

Then I ate . . . one bite.

That was enough for me to conclude that one hundred sixty  countries (including France) are wrong.

Nutella is basically chocolate frosting and tastes terrible on wheat toast.

Don’t tell France, though. I wouldn’t want another riot to erupt!