Fish Rain

No, this isn’t a tall tale based upon the imaginative CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS by Judi Barret.

It’s a short post about a weather report appearing on TV a few days ago.

The MinuteCast graph on the AccuWeather app indicated fair weather, making travel to visit my son and his family an easy drive. I Alexa-ed the TV searching for a weather report supporting the prediction. I’m not sure which of the 9,738 channels that I flipped through, but I stopped when a hefty fellow in a short-sleeved T-shirt held a minnow claiming that it rained fish.

Fair Weather in Illinois, but Fish Rain in Texas?

Always interested in creative ways to procrastinate, I Googled “Fish Rain in Texas.” The search yielded 1,460,000 entries, killed the afternoon, and delayed bathroom cleaning. However, I sought the truth and would find it no matter how many hours I wasted. After all, if it’s on the Internet, it HAD to be true.

The article I read listed the “official Facebook account for the City of Texarkana” as a source. Any doubt I harbored about the authenticity of the fish rain report evaporated. If evidence garnered from Facebook posts can’t be trusted, I don’t know WHAT can. Misinformation isn’t allowed on Facebook. Ask Mark.

The fish storm pelted a car dealership in the eastern Texas town. James Audirsch, who worked at a car dealership, witnessed the event. The Texarkana resident, reported a crack of thunder preceded a downpour which pelted the lot with fish some about half a foot long (also known as keepers if they’re Illinois bluegills). 

Another resident, Tim Brigham, heard opportunity knocking (or rather flopping). He filled a bucket with the heavenly minnows to use as bait. Now there’s a man who found a silver lining.

Scrolling through the “Official Facebook Account for the City of Texarkana,” many witnesses posted testimonies to the legitimacy of the fish rain weather event. A few jokesters posted themselves holding yard long specimens claiming they caught them as the fish fell from the clouds. I wasn’t fooled. The photos showed them in a boat on a sunny day. I knew they were pulling my leg. I’m a savvy researcher.

Swimming Upstream?

Certain that the Texas fish rain occurred, I couldn’t stop there. I needed to ascertain how it occurred. I followed the science. It’s a fact that salmon swim upstream, but for these fish to propel themselves from an earthly body of water to a heavenly body of vapor they must have been turbo charged. 

As it turns out they must have been tornado charged. One scientific theory was that a water spout (a tornado like whirl wind) formed over a nearby body of water and sucked up the fish in its swirling 100 mph winds. As the winds traveled over land, they slowed and dumped their heaviest loads. In this case it dumped the fish that filled Tim Brigham’s bait bucket. 

Animal Rain, Really?

Further research (I REALLY didn’t want to clean the bathroom.) indicated that animal rain is a rare metalogical phenomenon. In first century AD, Pliny the Elder, a Roman naturalist, recorded a storm of frogs and fish in NATURALIS HISTORIA (NATURAL HISTORY). NATURALIS HISTORIA was considered the first encyclopedia. Pliny sounded like a smart guy. I tended to believe him.

The animal rain that intrigued me the most was the case of a single frozen squid bonking a North Korean fisherman in the noggin. A tentacled hailstone beaned Kim Ung Ik. The encounter caused severe injury. After being airlifted to an Oxford hospital, Kim remained in a coma for two days. Upon awakening, he continued to experience brain related symptoms.

I can’t imagine it – normal life disrupted, hospital unable to provide needed medical services, no visitors, coma, long haul effect.

Wait, I can imagine it- all too vividly.