Everyday Epiphany, humor, Politics

Celebrating The Fourth Of July . . . No, I Mean The Seventh Of July . . . Or Is It Independence Day?

It all started with when to light the grill- Wednesday or Saturday?

The Fourth of July falls on July 4th, which is a Wednesday. My expectations of grilling favorite unhealthy fare followed by a local fireworks display dashed upon reading the city’s upcoming events. Our fireworks display explodes on Saturday, July 7th.

This isn’t the first time that my favorite Fourth of July tradition has been scheduled for other than July 4th.

How clearer can it be as to WHEN to celebrate? This holiday goes by the DATE!

Upon searching for a definitive answer as to when to celebrate Independence Day, I uncovered interesting facts about holidays. I KNOW they’re true because I read it on the Internet. However, these facts raised more questions.

Different Types

Categories of holidays crowd under that broad heading like sausages under a Natural Gas Weber Summit Grill hood. http://www.timeanddate.com list Federal, State, Observance, Local Observance, Sporting Event, Christian, Orthodox, Jewish, Hindu, and Muslim under “Holiday Type”.

Religious Holidays

I’m a free thinker when it comes to religious holidays. Take as many as needed to honor saints, philosophers, messiahs, supreme beings or even not so supreme beings.

Attending St. Florian’s, a Roman Catholic grammar school on the south side of Chicago, Pastor Kulinski declared holidays at the drop of his zucchetto. Anniversary of Father Edward’s entrance into the priesthood? No school today! St. Florian founded fifty years ago? Leave for home right after mass.

Sporting Event Holidays

Super Bowl, Kentucky Oaks, Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, Belmont Stakes, and Chicago Marathon make the list. If you are asking yourself “What the heck is Kentucky Oaks?” so was I. Kentucky Oaks is a race for 3-year old fillies. It’s held the day before the Kentucky Derby. The winning filly is decked out with a lily garland. The Kentucky Oaks attendees are decked out in the latest fashion. My guess is that those attending the Kentucky Oaks race also attend the Kentucky Derby, and they get to wear those fancy hats twice. All the horse races are held on Friday or Saturdays, which makes sense because then the celebrators have Sunday to recuperate.

If I can figure out having Sunday to kickback is a good idea, why haven’t the Super Bowl and Chicago Marathon “date declarers”? I’m thinking that whomever decides the dates don’t have to clean up after a “bowl party” or actually run the race. For goodness sakes, if the Derby horses have a day of rest before going back to work on Monday, shouldn’t the marathon runners?

Federal Holidays

Two handfuls of federal holidays, ten in all, mostly fall on Mondays to allow for long weekends. However, Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15thwhereas we ballpark the date anytime between then and the 20th. George Washington came into this world on February 19thnot on the third Monday of February. Martin and George may be ok with this, but I bet their mothers would be a tad miffed. Pushing another human being out of your body is a memorable feat and should be celebrated on the actual day!

Most disturbing about federal holidays, and don’t tell “the Donald” this, but while official federal holidays must be approved by congress, a president is able to declare a one-time federal holiday any time he wants just by issuing an executive order. If Donnie boy finds out, he may want his birthday celebrated nationally as well. Then we may be pressured by Fox News to display Trump cut outs on June 14th along with flags for Flag Day.

State Holidays

The states’ ideas about holiday celebrations sometimes differ from the federal government’s ideas (similar to legalizing marijuana usage).

States declared favorite presidents’ and notable activists’ birthdays such as Truman and Susan B. Anthony as holidays.  That I get. Truman is Missouri’s homeboy and Susan B. Anthony deserves her own day not only for her dedication to the suffrage movement, but to make up for the botched coin minted in her honor! Really, whose idea was it to create a dollar coin that looks like a quarter? No one in the treasury department could have foreseen THAT one coming?

What I question is why Indiana and Georgia celebrate George Washington’s birthday on December 24th?  That’s either ten months after or two months before (depending upon which way you flip the calendar) his birthday month.

Indiana and Georgia, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know you just don’t want to work on Christmas Eve.

Observance and Local Observance

These holidays are all talk and no action as far as the government goes. Expect to work.

Grilling Question Settled

Post 67 Calendar 2

 

Independence Day, when everyone else celebrates, is Wednesday July 4th. If it falls on a Saturday or Sunday, then it’s celebrated on July 3rdor 5th– NEVER officially on July 7th.

Question: So why is my city shooting fireworks on the 7th?

Answer: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Firework cost $2,000-$7,000 for short displays- much less after the 4th!

 

So I’ll fire up the Weber to grill brats on Wednesday and hamburgers on Saturday and celebrate our country’s freedom twice!

 

4 thoughts on “Celebrating The Fourth Of July . . . No, I Mean The Seventh Of July . . . Or Is It Independence Day?”

  1. We skip all of the 4th of July business by crossing the border to Canada. A fire ban on the island this year put the lid on both grilling and shooting off fireworks. I’m thinking that I will still have brats on the 4th and let the Canadians figure out the significance of that.

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