Life Reframed

These? Wrinkles?

No way! They’re laugh lines!

Where’d I buy my leather jacket?

I’ve had it a while. It’s vintage!

Hope you enjoy Cajun!

I decided to blacken the fish.

Making peace with my mature complexion instead of Botox injections, wearing my suede coat from the 80’s rather than straining my budget, passing off my overcooked dinner as blackened in place of fretting – life reframed.

Time passed, money was short, and the tuna neglected while I uncorked the Sauvignon Blanc. I can’t change any of it, but I can change the way that I think of it. At least that’s what most self-help books urged me to do- positive thinking!

Reframing is a way of viewing events in a more positive light- like Aesop’s fable “The Fox and the Grapes” with a twist. Instead of the fox claiming that the grapes were sour, he’d pick the accessible dandelion greens below to sauté in olive oil- a healthier choice. Something that wouldn’t have happened had he reached the grapes.

Before I achieved satisfaction with my place on the perfection spectrum, I read dozens of self-help books. In The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, I understood to view my clothes as joyful or not. (Kondo promotes owning items that only spark joy and folding clothes into rectangles instead of hanging them – kind of an origami approach.) I may have overestimated my T-shirts’ contentment levels because my drawer bulged with happy tops. Later, emerging with haphazard creases, they appeared less cheerful. I suspect they’ll soon organize a protest rally complete with clever placards (sort of like the Global Women’s March), but demanding hangers instead of health care.

In The Secret by Rhonda Byrne I learned the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. If I think it, I can be it, do it, have it. The universe will deliver. For the most part I’ve enjoyed good health, solid relationships, and stable finances. It may have more to do with diet and exercise, communication skills, and wearing that decades old leather jacket (instead of purchasing a new one) than tapping the universe on the shoulder. However if thinking about my goals is all the universe needs to push opportunity my way, I’m in. (An aside here: The Secret doesn’t work with fishing. My theory is the bass know about the secret and they’re thinking, “I will eat this worm and be free” while I’m thinking, “I will catch this small mouth with my nightcrawler” thereby sending out conflicting messages to the universe. It then abandons all fishing requests and continues onto easier feats like The Donald supporting the Paris climate agreement.)

When I read Judith Wright’s The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You from the Life You Want I realized that my “soft addiction” was reading self-help books. (This epiphany occurred in Chapter 3 so I can’t report about the rest of the book.)

Though I’ve abandoned the habit of reading self-help books, I’ve incorporated a few basics from each into my life. I realized Spanx are not joyful, goals are in the forefront of my mind, and negative thoughts are to be reframed.

So here it goes:

I’m not an elderly, out of fashion, bad cook.

I’m a mature, vintage dressed, gourmet.

How do I convince the rest of the world to see me this way?

Maybe I should ask Dale Carnegie.