I’m fighting an unreasonable urge to purchase a used car with my Capital One Venture Card. Unreasonable because I have a perfectly fine used car (since it’s a 2003 model it’s probably more used than most) and I’ve funneled the majority of my credit card purchases to my Ally one because their rewards program is simple – cash back.
So why am I scrutinizing my dented Acura and fingering my Venture plastic? I’ve examined the commonalities of CarMax and Capital commercials and concluded their main influence on me- dimples!
Andy Daly, CarMax spokesman, flashes his dimpled cheeks on commercials while riding camels, cuddling Guinea pigs, and creating acronyms convincing me to “Drive what is possible” even though my Acura is entirely possible since I own it and it runs.
Likewise, Capital One’s mouthpiece, Jennifer Garner is dimpleicious as she tempts me with unlimited double miles while prying into my wallet to find out what’s in it. (Ally is in my wallet. Capital is in my safe used only when traveling. )
To curtail impulsive spending on the used car lot, I researched dimples. I found these dimple deterrents on the Internet. So I know they are true!
Deformity
Jennifer’s zygomaticus major isn’t up to snuff. Her large facial muscle is divided when it should be in one piece. This is what creates a cheek dimple. Is Jennifer playing on my sympathy because my zygomaticus major is in tact and hers isn’t?
Shirley Temple Effect
Innocence is associated with dimples. Am I on some level thinking “I’ll buy that car, Andy. You wouldn’t lie to me”?
Luck
In some cultures dimples are associated with good luck. Is my subconscious working on faulty logic such as: Dimples are good luck. Jennifer has dimples and a Capital One card. I want to have good luck. Therefore I will apply for a Venture card.
Now that this buyer is aware of the power of dimples in advertising I might use this tactic to sell my novel or promote my blog post. I have a cleft chin! I could casually stroke my jaw while pitching to an agent. Hopefully the agent’s subconscious will be thinking of the appealing chin dimples of Sandra Bullock and Emily Blunt rather than the butt chins of Popeye and Dudley Do-right.
Yesterday I attended a meeting where I sat in the last row of folding chairs waiting to be called upon to speak. A young man sat down directly in front of me flashing his “dimples” that were clearly visible in the gap between his shirt and pants. After trying hard not to stare at this unwelcome display, I got up and moved to a seat several rows in front of him. I was not influenced positively.
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Guess the Dimples of Venus look better on Venus . . . or Channing Tatum.
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