humor, Throwbacks

Cheetah Wind Skating Queen Learns a Lesson

Sissy Ann Jablonski, a character that sprang to life during my “Steve Martin Teaches Comedy” online Masterclass tutorial, elbowed her way into “A Few Choice Words,” again. (She debuted in Post 5 “Dona Diego Zorro Queen Zips Her Lips.”) Though she has retired her Zorro mask for now, she hasn’t retired her genius, “never thought of before ideas!” 

I hate August 1959! I hate August heat when it’s too hot to skate! The musky basement rich with Mom’s laundry smells and

Post 19 Clamp Skates
My metal skate key dangles from a cord knotted around my neck.

Dad’s workshop odors offer a respite from the humidity. My metal skate key dangles from a cord knotted around my neck. I hunt down my roller skates. Crackled leather straps buckled together corral them. A wing nut controls the length and width that accommodates the shoe size. I wonder if my feet will ever be too big to hold skates. I know I won’t ever be too big to want to skate. I spin the pitted wheels. The spin propels an idea! A genius idea! A never before thought of idea!

Post 19 Oil Can
I squirt speedy new life onto the axles.

Rummaging among dented cans filled with screws, nails and hingy parts I find the oil can. Like Dorothy giving new life to the Tin Man, I squirt speedy new life onto the axles. I imagine myself a skating blur circling the basement and pump out another dollop and then another. I will be Cheetah Wind Skating Queen. I fit my feet into the skates and the skate key into the bolt. Clamps catch the edges of my Keds.


Cheetah Wind Skating Queen pushes off . . . into the air and comes down hard on the basement cement. I struggle to stand. Feet sprawl in opposite directions. Glasses askew, I crawl to the stairs, heave myself to the bottom step and release my feet from the demon skates.

Cheetah Wind Skating Queen realizes sometimes more is not better!

4 thoughts on “Cheetah Wind Skating Queen Learns a Lesson”

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