humor

It Could Happen, But It Didn’t!

Long shots!

I’m not only a sucker for long shots; I’m a believer in long shots!

I convince myself that the remote chance of success that defines long shot will actually happen. When it doesn’t I’m disappointed.

Then I ask myself What did I expect? It was a long shot. Eventually I shake off the disappointment, get over it, and carry on . . . to the next long shot disappointment-inducing situation.

I NEVER learn!

Long shot in love:

Post 18 On Becoming Fearless CoverIn 2006 I attended a National Education Association Conference. The keynote speaker was Arianna Huffington. I don’t recall the specifics of her address other than it was uplifting, she promoted her new book On Becoming Fearless, and that she and Bill Maher (HBO host of “Real Time with Bill Maher”) were on a first name basis. I recall Arianna stating that Bill Maher’s mother repeatedly attempted to fix her up with the confirmed bachelor. Newly divorced and attempting to screw up enough courage to reenter the dating life, I thought, Why not Bill Maher and me? Maybe Arianna isn’t Bill’s type. Maybe a schoolteacher from the Midwest is what Bill is looking for and doesn’t know it! Maybe I’m that schoolteacher!

Arianna closed her speech promoting her recently published book and stated that she would sign copies. After purchasing Fearless, Arianna’s assistant handed me a sticky note and directed me to write what I’d like Arianna to write on the flyleaf. I did so and also wrote an additional note that I would pass to her. Last in a long line, I had a few minutes with Ms. Huffington who sat behind a desk. A bit weary from the day, Arianna graciously held out her hand for the book and sticky note. After reading the sticky note a puzzled look crossed her face whereupon I handed her my other note. She read it, laughed, signed the book, and said “I’m faxing this to Bill!”

Post 18 On Becoming Fearless Flyleaf

The sticky note, what I requested that she write on the flyleaf was the following: “Dear Anita, I’ll pass your number along to Bill.” The note I handed her was addressed to Bill Maher inviting him to give me a call so that we could get together. It would make his mother happy.

For the rest of the conference and the week following, I checked my voicemail frequently AS IF BILL WOULD REALLY CALL ME!

It could have happened, but it didn’t.

Long Shot in a Contest:

In May I posted “How Not to Win $500,000 by Creating a New Flavored Oreo” where I admitted my mistake of not following the rules that Oreo put forth for the contest. Afterwards I started thinking. What if I DID follow the rules? Maybe I could win that contest.

I entered daily. I sought inspiration everywhere. While visiting Chicago, the skyline inspired my “Marina Towers in the Fog” entry. (Four chocolate wafers represented the visible bottom floors of the tower. Black raspberry and ginger filling represented the Chicago River that flows past.)

I looked to history for my Sacajawea entry. (A combination of sunflower seed and maple filling between two golden cookies. It’s based upon Native American sunflower cakes.)

 

 

While shopping at Jewel a cannoli inspired my Canoleo video entry. It elicited a response from the Oreo representative! That’s all I needed to convince myself that I could bank upon that $500,000.

The contest ended July 14th. I checked my mailbox frequently for a box of Canoleo prototypes from Oreo AS IF OREO WOULD REALLY BRING MY ENTRY TO LIFE AND I WOULD WIN!

It could have happened, but it didn’t.

Long Shot in Creating the Next Social Phenomenon:

In a recent post, “Make Fully Dressed Spontaneous Pole Dancing the Next Phenomenon,” I asked for help to make FDSPD a phenomenon. My readers have sorely disappointed me. To date there is not one FDSPD event reported.

Deciding that I needed someone with a wider audience to promote FDSPD, I enlisted Ellen DeGeneres. I appealed to her through her Ellen DeGeneres Page and included a link to my post explaining my quest. I suggested that I could appear on her show. Ellen and I would dance together in a “Singing In The Rain” sort of manner. Surely that would cause FDSPD to become the next phenomenon.

Two weeks have passed since I emailed Ellen. Since then I’ve checked my Facebook account daily AS IF ELLEN WOULD ACTUALLY CONTACT ME!

It could have happened, but it didn’t.

This is what did happen:

After passing a note along to Bill Maher, I discovered taking steps to find a new relationship easier. I began online dating. Bill never called, but Mike did. We have been together for nine years.

After entering the Oreo Creation Contest 52 times, I energized my creativity. I see inspiration for writing everywhere – bowling balls on a lawn during a walk, wren house with a curious sign, ice cream shop with unusual flavors. Oreo never created Canoleo prototypes, but I’ve created new posts.

After contacting Ellen about Fully Dressed Spontaneous Pole Dancing, I . . . wait a minute! It’s only been two weeks! Ellen’s assistants might be showing her my email right now! They could be discussing how FDSPD would be an interesting feature on their show. Maybe even weekly updates as the phenomenon spreads.

FDSPD across the nation!

FDSPD across the world!

I think I’ll send a follow up email to Ellen.

I know it’s a long shot, but it could happen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “It Could Happen, But It Didn’t!”

  1. I too am a firm believer in long shots. ESpecially those taken by others. And why not? Nothing to lose by cheering on someone else’s great or not so great ideas. Go Anita! The other,…Ellen.

    Like

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