Gardening, humor

Creating Problems

“Some people create their own storms and then get mad when it rains.”

Unknown

Unknown is brilliant! Her astute insights into life put perspective into mine. 

I often cause my own problems.

Fern Problem

After paying for a truckload of mulch and hauling wheelbarrows of it to the backyard, I decided to plant ferns in the areas that I ordinarily would mulch. That way I wouldn’t buy mulch (and save money) and I wouldn’t need to spread mulch (and save time). I transplanted a few ferns and within 30 seconds they invaded every inch of my backyard. Now I wield a machete, hacking back the invasive ferns, and wish for the mulch and wheelbarrow days.

Blue Counter Problem

The fern created problem began with sketchy logic whereas the blue counter problem began with no logic, but a whim. When choosing counter tops for my kitchen decades ago I picked a bluish green shade because they’re pleasant colors. Not once did I pause and consider the central location of the kitchen and how this location would dictate color schemes for rooms spoking off from it. I didn’t consider gray or sand or ANY neutral color. That day I happened to be in a bluish green mood. It could have been worse. I could have been in an reddish orange mood.

Baseball Bat Problem

Someone somewhere advised carrying a bat in my car for self-defense so I did. Since I didn’t have a full sized bat, I substituted a small souvenir bat that I scrounged from my son’s sports stash after he left for college. I don’t recall if the original advice had been suggested to thwart a carjacking or kidnapping, but unless the carjacker or kidnapper was a complete wuss, the bitty bat would do little damage. . . unless it became lodged in the driver’s seat electronic adjustment mechanism.

While cleaning the car, I removed and vacuumed the rugs. Apparently when I replaced them, the bitty bat wedged in a position that halted the seat from sliding backwards. When I continued to push the lever, the force severed the entire side panel, resulting in a permanent seat position comfortable only to drivers less than five feet tall. 

To compound the problem, I needed to drive to Milwaukee the next day to attend an important event- valet parking a must. I calculated the odds of a REALLY short valet and considered the words of Charles M. Shulz

“No problem is so formidable that you can’t walk away from it.”

I rented a car.

2 thoughts on “Creating Problems”

  1. A problem is only a problem if you acknowledge the problem. Living in denial has always been quite an effective solution for me. Try it. You’ll like it.

    Like

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