humor, Outdoors

The Bickering Of Outside And Inside

Sunshine streamed through the sheers. While in the hazy transition from sleep to full alertness I thought about how my Sunday would unfold. Outside beckoned with enticing rays while inside summoned me with my good intentions. 

The breeze brought a tense bickering to my slumbering ears. I eavesdropped as Outside and Inside decided my day’s agenda.

Outside: I’m sunny! She should enjoy me. I promise I won’t snow or sleet!

Inside: Hold on! She can’t count on you! You dumped three inches of snow two weeks ago. Besides she can’t traipse about! She has important projects to do!

O: What can be more important than taking time to appreciate me?

I: Underwear! If she doesn’t do the laundry she won’t have any clean ones!

O: What about the outside projects? Underwear isn’t a life or death matter- the impatiens are! If she doesn’t plant that flat, they’ll be compost! 

I: Squeaks, their cockatiel, needs attention. That’s a life or death situation! His food dish isn’t filled, and he’d love a sprig of millet. She can’t take care of that if she goes outside.

O: Squeaks, Smeaks! He’s only one bird. There’s a pair of rose-breasted gross beaks that need the safflower feeder filled. The ruby throated hummingbirds depend on her special sugar water mix. That has to be refreshed. Then there are the nuthatches and chickadees and red-bellied woodpeckers that are hungry.  

I: She’ll be hungry, too, if she doesn’t prepare the cauliflower, cilantro, and chicken recipe for dinner to pop into the oven.

O: Chicken can be grilled – outside! 

I: What about her writing? She posts every Tuesday to “A Few Choice Words By Anita”? The rough draft isn’t even finished.

O: The outdoors is inspiring! I’ll help her think of a topic.

I: Planting, feeder filling, grilling, . . . that’s a busy day outside. She needs to relax!

O: Laundry, Squeaks, chicken recipe, writing . . . that’s a busy day inside. She needs to relax! She can read down by the beach.

I: It’ll rain. She should read on the couch.

O: I’ll only be overcast. 

I: There are no clouds inside

O: She could bury her toes in the sand. She likes that!

I: Propping her feet on my ottoman is a favorite, too.

O: The wrens sing outside.

I: Squeaks whistles inside.

O: She should sip her coffee and read outside.

I: She should read and sip her coffee inside. We almost agree.

O: I won’t rain until the afternoon.

I: She can read on the beach. Then when you cloud over . . .

O: She can read on the couch.

I: Maybe she should fill the bird feeders first. The wild ones will appreciate that. 

O: Then she should feed Squeaks and add a sprig of millet. The tame one will be grateful. 

I and O: She should relax. It’s Sunday!

And I DID relax – right after feeding the wild and tame ones and transcribing the overheard bickering.

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