humor, Politics, Technology

Jerkwater Emails

Traveling the non-electronic shunpike for the afternoon had its downside – two hundred twenty-nine emails!

It felt like a crunt when I scrolled the list. I gaged that more than forty messages per hour pinged my “in mailbox” while I gardened without my cell phone.

Determined to sort through the time cutpurse, my fingers tittupped about the keyboard like a spitfire!

Golfballs

Having purchased catchpennies in the past from WorldMarket, Café Express, and Golfballs.com, their advertisements populated the list. Not with an immediate need for trinkets, their pleas to purchase relocated to the trash.

Hearts

Fallacious consumer research brought alerts from VictoriaHearts, Conservative News, and My Time Share Expert, Best Place To Sell Your Time Share. Being heterosexual and a Democrat with a budget that doesn’t allow for a Time Share I rejected a columbine, a request to support Republican candidates, and an offer on my nonexistent Florida condo.

Apple

Raddling an alert from Apple Support, I left it as a reminder to call their help line. In the past a phishing scapegrace sought to lure me into clicking on their link. I hoped the scoundrel caught and sentenced at an assize!

Nordstrom

Since I frequent Ann Taylor, Kohls, and Nordstroms’ websites, I welcomed their communications. However, being a bit mizzled about Nordstroms’ rummy “Fall Statement” I trashed that ad.

Wordsmith

After an hour of screen time I felt I deserved an “Excellent Effort” cockade for sifting through my emails and for incorporating vocabulary into my post from my favorite weekly communications from wordsmith.org.

Word Theme Key:

Green – Tosspot words (combine a verb and its object)

Blue – Words that sound dirty

Red – Words that have many unrelated meanings

 

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