humor, Travel

Keeping Your Distance

In life I’ve learned that there are times when a distance should be kept.

Some are obvious.

Some are not.

Obvious Distance Keeping Situations:

 If you’re within spitting distance of furry dogs when they emerge from a lake, the centrifugal force that creates drier canines also create wetter humans.

 

Step back a few feet.

 

It’s also advisable not to be within striking distance to a pair of vultures ripping open road kill.

 

Put a car length between you.

 

In addition I recommend keeping your distance from an vexed hippo.

 

hippo

 

Use binoculars for a better look and keep the Jeep motor running for a fast getaway.

 

Unobvious Distance Keeping Situation:

The petite, elderly Ecuadorian potato seller at the Agua Caliente City Market created an interesting image. Using my telephoto lens I framed the woman and snapped a few shots in an unobtrusive manner. At least I THOUGHT it was unobtrusive.

Woman potato

I turned to take another photo of an appealing array of carrots when I heard a flurry of Spanish aimed towards me. The subject of my previous photo had sidled up alongside me. Our exchange went something like this:

Elderly Ecuadorian Potato Seller: Lots of Spanish words that are spoken in a mildly irritated manner.

Me: (Not understanding a word that she is saying but answering anyway) Since the market is in a tourist area I thought it would be ok to take pictures.

EEPS: (Stepping closer) Lots of Spanish words that are spoken in a more irritated manner.

Me: (Stepping back and still not giving up on the idea that somehow she will understand me) Ok, I won’t take any more photos.

EEPS: (Stepping even closer) Lots of Spanish words that are spoken in a seriously irritated manner.

Me: (Hoping to communicate by action and placing the cap on the lens) See? No more photos.

EEPS: (Showing me her knife and eyeing me like I’M a potato) Lots of Spanish words that are spoken in an angry manner.

Me: (Thinking why am I explaining to someone who doesn’t understand me, is angry, AND has a knife?) Adios!

I disappeared in the distance!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 thoughts on “Keeping Your Distance”

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